Past Loves (Part 1)

Maybe when you saw the title, you thought, "Oh! A story of Renee's exes!" or, "Past loves? Hmmm.", or... "Past loves!? How many does this ********** have!?" It's nothing like that though. HAHA OWNED JK.

When I was younger(Yes, younger, and I'm only 14), I used to have insane crushes on a few teen pop idols. One of them being Jesse McCartney. But this was all before I turned 12, and my brother, Keith, introduced me to Screamo music. I listened to rock music more often after that and lost all interest in pop (LOL), dissing every top pop hit on the radio and TV. But I'm a bit, laid-back now, if you know what I mean. I like any music as long as they have 'meaning'. So anyway, back to the subject, this was the Jesse McCartney I was head over heels with:

I forgot how hot he was back then. LOL

Really cute.

I miss his golden hair.

But I guess people really 'lose it' after their teen years, the only years they become hardcore heartthrobs. And what were his biggest, top-charting, butt-kicking, heart melting hits? Of course, 'Beautiful Soul' and 'She's No You'. (I never bothered to research on all his songs, to be honest) But I knew, that, he was the one. Meaning, I believed, he was well, the most incredible solo artiste at that time and at my age.

Jesse McCartney, was, basically, a cute guy with a cute voice and sang cute songs. Everything about him was cute, BACK THEN. I remember having my mom roll her eyes every time I'd sing along to his songs on TV and the radio. And having my brothers groan every time I squeal of his appearances on shows, or his songs about to play on the radio. I was just another pre-teen fan, like this decade's generation of, Justin Bieber's pre and pre-pre teen fans LOL. It's a little embarrassing to look back at who I was before, naive and ignorant(and a nuisance LOL).

So this entry's conclusion is: (Allow me to rephrase)He was just another pretty face with a cute voice. Period.

To be continued.

Words Aren't Enough

...

I can't be any more straightforward.

I don't want to let you go.

I don't want you to leave.

Dear, I think about you more than you know.

And I realise, that without you,

not only am I alone,

I'm lonely too.

...

Holiday Rants

WORST. HOLIDAY. EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

No, I'm just kidding. The holidays are always like this. I'm stuck at home. Doing nothing really. I can even watch the clock tick as time passes by. Plus, the weather out there is really hot and it is so not helping me think well. This holiday has been giving me mood swings for the past couple of days ever since it started. And no, I am not going through PMS. WAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH.

It's weird right? During school days, we want to stay home and play games all day. But when the holidays come,... everyone just don't have anything to do. We're mindless zombies waking up at the middle of the day to surf Facebook/Tumblr/whatever site (or play computer games) till early morning. I'm pretty sure the number of death-of-boredom increase during the holidays cause' we've absolutely NOTHING, I mean,NOTHING,to do. We need to find a way to overcome this dilemma,.. and what is the solution? Find a hobby. ASIDE FROM PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND SURFING THE NET, OF COURSE.

It could be anything; from collecting stamps to washing the backs of old people ;D Anything to fill your time. Maybe practice some martial arts so you can beat the crap out of any bully next time around. (But I thought martial arts are for self defense?) Spend some time with your family and friends, picnicking nearby a river or having a fun time under the sun by the beach. Or for couples, you can take your partner out on a date to some cheesy diner and then lie down on the dewy grass, (on a private hill?) and hold hands while watching and wishing upon the stars. OR, you could form a band with your buddies and compose some songs together and walk to a open-24hours store at 3am for the fun of it. Or you could prank call your teacher and tell him his refrigerator is running, and he's too fat to catch it :D And hold in your laughter and burst out when you put the phone down. Yeah, good times, good memories.

But this is all in my head though, I've done none of them except going to the beach/river with my family. I've never even washed an old person's back. Never.

Here's some more things you could do during the holidays. You could get a facial treatment at some shop or have your girlfriends over to your house for a slumber party and treat yourselves with your own facial materials. You could climb a mountain and experience having leeches suck the living out of your legs(or anywhere on your body). You could open up a lemonade stand at your local supermarket and have people pass by and ignore you or taunt you or spread rumors or... okay, maybe not that. But you could start a small store with secondhand materials and then slowly, transform your store into your dream store. Don't forget to take photographs and videos! You might accidentally find these footage and/or photographs when you're old and wrinkly and watch/look through them on the couch with your spouse and grandchildren. :)

Ahh. It would be just great if I could do all that.(Yes, that includes washing an old person's back. Just for the experience ;D) Go on! Let your creativity loose! Draw, write, record your life on paper, or just anything and everywhere.

Thanks for reading, peeps! Nighties! (It's actually evening, but never mind~)

Time After Time

By the time I finish blogging, it'll be around 12:30 am. :\

Sorry, to anyone I disappointed for not blogging the night before. Wasn't into it.

Today was, okay. EARLIER today was, bad.

I was singing "Cooler than Me" by Mike Posner when Jasmine continued the beat of the song "Doo doo doo doo doo". She held onto the stair rail and moved back and forth. The sight was wrong in so many ways, I couldn't help but laugh. She was embarrassed and started choking me, playfully. I couldn't stop laughing, and so I fell back and knocked my head on the cement wall. I could hear my skull knock onto the wall. It hurt, but I just kept on laughing. Jasmine tried to pull me back up but failed. Then someone managed to pull me up to my feet. Then everyone wondered if I was okay. I really didn't know.

After that, I finally got my form 2 textbooks. I had to go to the storeroom to pick my books. It was crammed and hot in there, and smelled like sweat. It was hard picking good books because the ones that were in the storeroom, weren't the ones passed down to my class yesterday. You see, I forgot one book the day before so I couldn't bring a set of my form 2 books home. The teacher in the storeroom was all cranky and noisy. I don't want to get into detail. They ruined my afternoon.

And the period before recess, I received my Science paper. And guess what? I got 49%. I covered all the topics and got a 'C'. Great, I thought. I just wanted Fardyana to kill me then.

I kinda blew up at Jasmine during recess. I regretted it. And I think I scared someone off. I wasn't being me, that's for sure. I didn't do well this semester. I'm so angry with myself. I don't think I want my report card back.

Anyway, I'll be going shopping with Keith, Fardyana, Jasmine, and Aida this Saturday at Boulevard. We're looking for clothes to wear during the Tang Soo Do dinner. We're wearing the theme "Mafia" and I got my dress already. It was mom's; she ended up not being able to fit in it and I could wear it, just my size. I planned to wear a long sleeved work-like shirt with a sleek, black jacket over it and a red tie. A short skirt, with fishnet leggings down to my feet. And black high heels. But now, I just need to add in a cool fedora hat, shades, and a pair of black heels. I also plan to wear my hair fall to one side. You know, like those sexy latinos. LOL That's what I picture when I think of think of that hairstyle. No offence. It's really nice. Hehe.

Jasmine would have to wear a skirt and a shirt then. Or maybe, if she brings that dress she wants to wear, we can reconsider her type of outfit for that night. Fardyana's wearing long pants and a white, short sleeved work-like shirt, a jacket and tie. Classic. And yeah, a fedora hat too. That's the main reason we're going out shopping, to find a fedora hat.

So I finally got to listen to "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper. I... miss that song. I remember the melody of that song, ever since I was little. Mom and dad had good taste in music. And this was the kind of songs my mom would sing around the house. The lyrics, they mean a lot. I like the fact that it's relaxing to hear. This is real music. That song is older than me! 13 years to be exact. Wow. Haha.

That song, made me thought about today, and I feel, I can let this day go. It's not that bad.

If you're lost, you can look. And you will find me - time after time.

I love you, mom and dad. Bros. You.