She Would Change Everything

It is now 1:16 a.m. in the morning. I promised someone I would sleep before midnight. Well, that didn't work out, obviously. My mind is still fresh about that Gaia dream avatar thingy. So, I'm may be pulling an all-nighter. After many failed attempts to fall asleep, I decided to blog about a story I wrote 2 years ago and relive my younger years. (Yerr, I feel so old saying that xD) And I've made a few changes and elaborated some parts. So here goes, enjoy!

My Best Friend

I still remember that day like the back of my hand. I was crying on a bench in my kindergarten when she looked at me, puzzled, and asked, "Why do you cry so much?" I thought to myself, "Really? Do I cry a lot?". I explained to her that mom was late to pick me up from school, so I got worried. She gave me a look that wrote, 'What a cry baby', and sat beside me. She was tough and brave for a girl, even at such a young age. And I admired her.

The year 2004 came, two years from that incident, and Ling and I applied for the same elementary school. On the first day, dad had promised to accompany me to class. He carried my schoolbag through the halls and then to my class room, and I had my attendance taken. I wasn't placed in the same class as Ling was though, which was disappointing. What was more disappointing was that the next day, and the 5 years to come, I'd have to walk through the school gates and to my classroom, alone. The world was really scary to me back then, being a seven-year-old.

I'd have only one thing on my mind waiting for the last bell to ring, which was to pack my belongings, rush out of class and wait outside Ling's class. Her class always ends later than mine. And then we'd talk and play by the car park while waiting for our parents to take us home. Ling introduced me to Cheng and Lowell, and soon we became a foursome, kinda.

A year passed and it meant more games, more fun, and just...more time with Ling! Living life was a bliss since we'd hang out in and after school, joined the same co curricular activities, call each other on the home phone. Basically, we did things best friends would do.

But then my grades slipped and I turned into a troublemaker. I hated homework, especially Bahasa Melayu, and would never finish a single exercise! I'd tend to wait till the next day to copy off a classmate, which would get me into more trouble than just not completing homework, because I'd have the same answers as he did. I acted the same the year after. I lacked studying and never took lessons seriously. Despite all that, Ling was still there for me. And I loved her for that.

The next year was different. Surprisingly, I got into the same class as Ling was, the best class. I was so happy, even though we didn't sit next to each other. I remember we fought over a crush, whose name I shall not mention, and then she gave him up for me. I felt bad after that though, but I continued crushing on that guy till I finished primary 6. What a waste of 2 years, giving it all and receiving nothing back from some loser. Cheng and Lowell weren't so close to me anymore.

Anyway, on that same year, we fought right before her 10th birthday but then made up the next day with her condition of being "Normal friends". But she forgot about it. Ehehehe. We became even closer after that. It was like nobody could stop us from being the best duo in school, or that was what I thought.

I wasn't so keen on letting Eva hangout with us. Indeed, I was quite jealous that she gets to come over to Lau's place more than I do. But it worked out for me and her in the end. She was funny and she never failed to place a smile on my face every morning in school. And then came Rachelle. She was pretty and also a little messed up in the head, like Eva, Lau and I was, and she was just the right, final member to our little gang. Eventually, we formed a group called "B.F.M.C", which stood for "Best Friends Member Club". Eva came out with that name, just so you know. The four of us pretty much agreed to the name. I didn't think Ling took it seriously though. But nevertheless, we were the inseparable four! Ready to rule the world anytime!

On my 12th birthday, Ling gave me a Haruno Sakura head plushie. It came with a card too. All I could remember was that, she hoped Joshua and Lowell didn't give me a better present(they didn't give anything though), and she hoped I like my present, and that... "I hope we'll be best friends forever! ^_^"

That last line engraved itself in my thoughts and broke my heart every time I remembered them. I'd recall holding that very card in my hands, everything in the world didn't matter because I had the best-est friend in the whole universe. That memory still lingered in my thoughts, when we broke up again.

I remember crying on the phone when Ling told me it was all Eva and Rachelle's plan to hurt me if she wanted to be friends with me. I know I wasn't a good student back then, so these two didn't like me, and they dragged Ling in with their scheme. The thing was, Ling was crying on the phone as well. She mentioned bursting into tears every time she came back home from school. I also remember, telling her I loved her. To my surprise, she told me she loved me too. It was a little awkward, since I viewed her in this heroic figure, where as my hero, she's strong, and doesn't give in to pain, physically or mentally. But this time, she was the ordinary girl behind that hero costume. I was stunned to have witnessed her in such a state. I promise to never leave her after that.

But we broke up again, due to immaturity, and because I proposed so. I was sick and tired of Ling and the other two picking on me every single day! She promised to be friends again but she lied and turn her back on me!

I knew I would regret it breaking up though. I tried to reconcile with her but she never let me do so. I grew to hate her but I still cared for her. I just waited, in hope that one day, she'd return to being that crazy, tomboy-ish best friend I once knew. That day never came in that year. In the end, I just wanted to spend as much time as I can with her, even though we were apart.

On the last day of school, I slipped a letter into her sling bag. When composing the letter, I didn't know whether to blame her of forgive her, but I jotted down some memories I had with her in it. All I know was that, it was embarrassing to read.

The past 6 years, we laughed, we cried, we danced, we fought, we talked. She thought me to be tough. She gave boys up for me. We drew pictures together. We took pictures together. We gave each other advice. We stuck together. We made sure neither of us got hurt by anyone. But no matter what, I couldn't turn things around. It was the hardest goodbye I've ever made. No more best friend to follow me to middle school. No more best friend to crack lame jokes around with. No more Ling in my life. Just... a bittersweet memory, of two naughty girls who spent 8 years of their lives together, only to split in their final elementary year. Forever, etched in my mind.

After the award ceremony and performances, she let me give her one last hug, reluctantly though. If I could choose a time to cry, I'd cry a river right there and then. But I couldn't, not in front of hundreds of people. Earlier that day, she told me she doesn't want to hold on to, and look back on her past. I realized I should turn a new leaf as well. And then I went home.

SEPTEMBER 23RD, 2010 (A year after)

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